Lee Jordan, HERO

In Chapter Fourteen of Chamber of Secrets, Lee Jordan, random Gryffindor who’s always identified as “the Weasley twins’ friend Lee Jordan” (because he has no identity of his own), says maybe my favorite line thus far:

“Isn’t it obvious all this stuff’s coming from Slytherin? The Heir of Slytherin, the monster of Slytherin — why don’t they just chuck all the Slytherins out?”

In the book, Jordan’s line is greeted with smattering applause from his Gryffindor brethren, but that’s nothing compared to the OH MY GOD I KNOW RIGHT?! that I practically shouted after reading it.

Why is Slytherin still a house? It’s not just named after a wizard who didn’t want many of these students to be allowed into Hogwarts at all; it’s named after a wizard who created a monster to go KILL many of these students. What’s more, we’re told in the first book that every wizard who ever went bad came from Slytherin. Seriously?! Every single one? And they still let Slytherin exist???

Here’s a tip: if you put the Sorting Hat on someone, and it says Slytherin, follow Lee Jordan’s advice and just chuck them out. Sure, you’ll have some some perfectly non-evil kids who will be hurt. But in the absence of a Wizarding Constitution that prevents such lack of due process, I say go for it. The collateral damage will be worth it to prevent all future evil wizards.

You’re ahead of your time, Weasley twins’ friend Lee Jordan. You’re a hero.

5 thoughts on “Lee Jordan, HERO

  1. You and what magic? If I chuck you out right being sorted, you won’t know enough to be a threat. BOOM! The system works. πŸ˜‰

  2. Harry Potter himself was sorted as Slytherin. Yes, the whole point is that he CHOSE Gryffindor himself instead, but there exists good wizards that come out of Slytherin. You’ll meet some later in the series. I know you’re being tongue in cheek, and I agree, Lee Jordan rules, but by removing an entire segment of people from a school, even if 90-5% of them are okay people, are you no worse than Voldemort himself?

    Of course, in the realm of this book, at least the first couple, when good and evil is so incredibly black and white, I totally get this reaction, because Slytherin and the Malfoys are the worst. But I think you’ll be singing a different tune by the end. Or at least, somewhat.

  3. 1. Yes, I would still be better than Voldemort himself.
    2. Otherwise, I agree. I think the first two books are still intended for kids enough that perhaps Rowling doesn’t always pay enough attention to possible plotholes or unrealistic exaggerations. I do think she probably meant it when she first wrote that all bad wizards came from Slytherin, because as you said, everything is so black and white. But a friend read this post and informed me that Peter Pettigrew was a Gryffindor, so clearly she changes her tune and makes that into more of an exaggeration that a literal comment. And that should benefit the series. It should be far more interesting to have every House capable of good and bad than one bad house and three good ones.

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